My New Favorite Thing: Steven Slater, The Jet Blue Flight Attendant

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I love this guy!!!

Seriously, I do.

And its not because he’s a hero (he’s not.) Or because he stuck it to the man (he didn’t.)

It’s fantastic because this is an example of overreacting at its finest…and it is absolutely hilarious. You can’t storm out of your office the same way anymore. Simply stomping out with expletives and flipping over a desk won’t cut it. This guy raised the bar. With two beers and an inflatable slide Steven Slater set a new standard. This guy cussed out a passenger over the intercom,  slid down the emergency inflatable slide  and then went home.

I wish I had been on this flight. I would have been cheering him on all the way.

Let’s reconstruct his steps, shall we?

1. Idiotic passenger fighting to get massive bag in tiny overhead container and holding up the flight. Who of us has not experienced this and wanted to scream?

2. He tells her to sit down, she refuses they argue.

3. At some point the bag falls and hits him on the head. (Hilarity begins)

4. They argue some more, because she won’t apologize and some point she calls him a MFer or to F off or something like that

5. He snaps

6. Old boy jumps on the intercom and tells the lady “F*** you,” “he’s had a great career” and that “he’s done.”

7. He proceeds to deploy the inflatable slide, grabs a couple beers, goes down the slide and heads home.

You can’t even make up stuff this fantastic.

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Old Navy flip flops and the worst dates ever

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A pair of sandles like these play a big part in one of my worst dates ever

 My really horrible date this weekend inspired me to compile a list of my  most heinous dating offenses. These are all true by the way and in no particular order. (I’m currently single and no longer dating any of these guys)

  1. Surfing a dating site while on a date with me
  2. Trying to get me to buy you a pair of man sandles from Old Navy and lunch on our first date
  3. Telling me AFTER we’re already in line at the food court for our lunch date, the date you invited me on, that our meal is dutch
  4. Making a drug transaction while I sit in the car and wait for you
  5. Telling me your forgot your wallet AFTER we’ve already ordered and eaten dinner
  6. “Accidentally” ordering two appetizers plus your dinner and drinks for a dinner that you aren’t paying for
  7. Running into not 1, not 2, but 3 of your ex-girlfriends while on a date
  8. Invite me to a party at your family’s house and then you disappear for over an hour (this has happened twice with two different guys)
  9. Making a scene, yelling, and accusing the guy behind the counter of flirting with me because you think it takes to long for me to order our meal
  10. Getting drunk, stealing my car keys, and driving off in my car
  11. Waiting until I fall asleep and then stealing my cell phone and $27 out of my wallet
  12. Having sex with my roommate while I’m in my bedroom sleeping
  13. Calling your ex-girlfriend and getting visibly upset that she’s going on a date with someone else
  14. Trying to get another girl’s phone number in front of me and pretending that you want it for some other reason than to hook up with her
  15. Telling me after we’ve been on a few dates and hooked up that you already have a girlfriend
  16. Leaving me in a store while you talk to your friend, leaving the store to go to his house, but never tell me you left
  17. Loudly telling a hotel clerk, while we’re on vacation together, that we need a room with a single bed because it’ll be hard for us to have sex in a double bed
  18. Asking the clerk in a aromatics store for a scent that will make the room smell good for when we “knock boots” later (this is a different guy than #17)
  19. Almost run us into a guard rail while driving me home because you are texting and trying to watch rap videos on your dashboard TV at the same time as driving
  20. Pulling a knife on a guy at the club for having a conversation with me

…is wish shopping for New Year’s Eve outfits

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OMG this would so be my New Year’s Eve dress if I had a job and could afford to buy it and I had a New Year’s Eve party to go to. I’ll just pine away = (.