#1: Running Into An Ex When You’re Looking Extra Cute

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(from my blog Stuff That Makes Me Smile)

I had one of those moments today that all jilted rejected girls dream of having (and if you say you’ve never thought about this you’re lying).   I was in the grocery store cruising the dairy aisle, when I spotted a familiar face.

It was my ex-boyfriend Rick, the guy I was head over heels in love with. The same guy who had the courtesy of dumping me via a text message totally without warning.

Rick and I met in college and after we stopped seeing each other I ran into him one time on a morning when I’d overslept. I was running late so I threw on some clothes and didn’t comb my hair. I looked something like this:

It was horrible. I dreamed of the one day when I’d get a chance to redeem myself. It just so happened that, totally unplanned, that I put on a cute dress, with boots and leggings and a cute no ‘do.

I know exactly what it is. Its the secret wish that he will realize what a fool he was and want you back. Or it is the idea that he had a foxy chick and because he was a total jackass he lost out on the fabulousness that is you.

Redemption is so sweet.

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From Punkgirl to Naughty librarian: Walking the Runway of Life

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 I share a special kinship with Madonna.

 Both of us are exhibitionists to a degree. Both of us are artists. Both of us feel strongly that sexuality can be a legitimate form of artistic expression (Only one of us has managed to become a millionaire as a result, bet you can’t guess which one).

 One thing I really admire about her is how she’s been able to reinvent herself so many times without losing who she is. I”m old enough to remember the “Like a Virgin” days of black-off-the-shoulder tees, capri leggings, and crosses, to the “True Blue” days of the short blond cut, to the Kabbalah days where she’s tamer, but still just as fierce.

 This came to mind recently because I love to reinvent myself. I change my look pretty often. I’ve read articles where people have said this means I’m unhappy with myself, but I disagree. Getting dressed and doing your hair is one opportunity we have all day to be artistic and creative. It’s the only opportunity some of us wage slaves get. To me it’s like getting to play dress up and assume different personalities every day. Its like being a supermodel on the runway of life every single day. You’ve got to strut it and work it out. Clothes should be fun not just functional. 🙂

 It also says that I’m not just a one-dimensional person. I’m a mulifaceted woman with many sides to me. What mood I’m in will determine what side of me you get to see today.

 My most recent fashion transformation went from a pretty extreme assymetic haircut (sort of pseudo-punk) to a long layers and a pair of ugly glasses. I was going for that whole sexy librarian look. I love the contrast of sexy and educated, because I definitely believe sexy is smart. So over the course of the past few months I went from punk to librarian chick with the change of a hairdo and some glasses.

 How about you? Are you a fashion chameleon or do you stick with good old tried and true? What are some of your favorite looks?

…loves me a big teddy bear man and here’s why.

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I had such a crush on this guy growing up, LOL. To this day I love me a big, teddy bear of a man and this guy is the reason why. LOL. So for this week’s Throwback Thursday, is none other than the overweight lover…

…is gonna start dating ugly guys again

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Could Flavor Flav be my next boyfriend?

I’ve got a problem. I’m dating a sexy guy. Really sexy.  He is absolutely the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen and he is dating… me. Me, the chubby girl with the gap in her teeth, the hammer toes, and poochy belly.

I know what you’re thinking ” you poor thing, you get to have sex with a hot guy,  boo hoo (totally dripping with sarcasm)” But the truth is I’ve never dated anyone this hot and I’m totally insecure. Being with a really good looking person makes me feel…I don’t know…kind of ugly.

I’m constantly thinking you could have anyone why would you pick me? I’m constantly thinking that he’s gonna find someone better looking and drop me like a hot potato.

I’ve shared these thoughts with him and he assures me that he is very happy with me. He compliments me constantly and tells me that just because he gets female attention doesn’t mean he is interested. The crazy thing is he’s insecure that someone is going to steal me from him. Wow! I broke it off with him and he campaigned to get me back. Me.. the chubby girl with the gap teeth, hammer toes, and poochy belly.

That’s why I dated ugly guys I never felt like I had to compete. I always felt like they were lucky to have me. I shouldn’t say they were ugly, they were all cute to me. I’m a thrift store queen I can find the treasure in any trash. Plus I’m usually attracted to some other quality like one guy who was really smart, and others who could make me laugh.

Has anyone else encountered this problem? Does anyone else date ugly guys? Any suggestions for me.

…giving Jermaine Dupri (and black men) props

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Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri

I was watching the Janet Jackson interview with Robin Roberts the other night and two things stuck with me:

First, she mentions the freedom that comes with turning 40. Basically, she said you really just stop caring what people think about you and do your own thing. I loved that. I’m 30 years old now and I’m almost there. I feel myself getting closer everyday.  I’m certain I’ll totally be there before I”m 40.

Second, she talks about how she battled with weight for years and it wasn’t until she dated Jermaine Dupri that she realized that she’s beautiful and that’s okay to have some booty.

Jermaine Dupri is alright with me. One thing I love about black men, they like women with curves, some meat on their bones, some booty, some hips, and some thighs. Research has found that black women have some of the best body image and I think a lot of it has to do with black men.  I am a plus sized woman and I’ve never really had a problem dating men.  When you look at the women in black culture that men go crazy over, they’re curvaceous women.

Janet Jackson is a gorgeous woman, but even she had issues with her body. It wasn’t years in the spotlight or getting on a most beautiful women’s list to make her feel better about herself. It was the love and support of a good man. A good black man.