Stuff That Makes Me Smile

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Freaking loved this commercial!

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Old Navy flip flops and the worst dates ever

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A pair of sandles like these play a big part in one of my worst dates ever

 My really horrible date this weekend inspired me to compile a list of my  most heinous dating offenses. These are all true by the way and in no particular order. (I’m currently single and no longer dating any of these guys)

  1. Surfing a dating site while on a date with me
  2. Trying to get me to buy you a pair of man sandles from Old Navy and lunch on our first date
  3. Telling me AFTER we’re already in line at the food court for our lunch date, the date you invited me on, that our meal is dutch
  4. Making a drug transaction while I sit in the car and wait for you
  5. Telling me your forgot your wallet AFTER we’ve already ordered and eaten dinner
  6. “Accidentally” ordering two appetizers plus your dinner and drinks for a dinner that you aren’t paying for
  7. Running into not 1, not 2, but 3 of your ex-girlfriends while on a date
  8. Invite me to a party at your family’s house and then you disappear for over an hour (this has happened twice with two different guys)
  9. Making a scene, yelling, and accusing the guy behind the counter of flirting with me because you think it takes to long for me to order our meal
  10. Getting drunk, stealing my car keys, and driving off in my car
  11. Waiting until I fall asleep and then stealing my cell phone and $27 out of my wallet
  12. Having sex with my roommate while I’m in my bedroom sleeping
  13. Calling your ex-girlfriend and getting visibly upset that she’s going on a date with someone else
  14. Trying to get another girl’s phone number in front of me and pretending that you want it for some other reason than to hook up with her
  15. Telling me after we’ve been on a few dates and hooked up that you already have a girlfriend
  16. Leaving me in a store while you talk to your friend, leaving the store to go to his house, but never tell me you left
  17. Loudly telling a hotel clerk, while we’re on vacation together, that we need a room with a single bed because it’ll be hard for us to have sex in a double bed
  18. Asking the clerk in a aromatics store for a scent that will make the room smell good for when we “knock boots” later (this is a different guy than #17)
  19. Almost run us into a guard rail while driving me home because you are texting and trying to watch rap videos on your dashboard TV at the same time as driving
  20. Pulling a knife on a guy at the club for having a conversation with me

…taking a stand against yellow packets.

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 We joke a lot on this blog, but from time to time we have to get serious. This is one of those times.

 Frankly, I’m blown away that  no one has addressed the vast conspiracy by restaurants and coffee establishments to replace Sweet N Low with Splenda as our artificial sweetner of choice. It happened once and I let it go, but more and more I’m noticing a trend. Finally, I was in a breakfast restaurant which shall remain nameless yesterday morning (it wasn’t IHOP) and asked for Sweet ‘N Low with my coffee. Do you know she gave me Splenda?

 Splenda is not Sweet ‘N Low. They’re two different things. I don’t like the way Splenda tastes in my coffee. Sure it seems like a small thing, but thats how it starts. First they take away our ability to choose our artificial sweetner then they’re taking away our right  to vote and our freedom of speech. I for one will not stand by why they slowly strip us of our rights. I’m taking a stand right here and right now and saying down with yellow packets.

 I’m not saying everyone has to like Sweet N Low, some people might like Equal (lol, kidding) but we should at least have the choice. Are you with me?

…wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.

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Today is Thanksgiving and Throwback Thursday. I’ve selected a video this week that is apropros for the day. Enjoy.

…nursing a hangover (oy vey)!!!

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I guess I had a few too many

I guess I had a few too many

I’m not a drinker but I will imbibe from time to time. This time, I hung out with my friend Dee for some barhopping and a whole lot of drinking. So naturally I feel like total crap. I’m sure you can relate. In my post-drunken haze I took the liberty of compiling a list of some of the world’s most bizarre hangover remedies. I can assure you I won’t be trying any of these, but they make for a fun read. Enjoy.

  1. Pickled Sheep’s Eyes in Tomato juice: popular in Outer Mongolia
  2. Rabbit Droppings Tea: In the Old West cowboys drank for hangovers. (Kind of gives a new meaning to being shit-faced), LOL.
  3. Cow’s Stomach: In Romania they cure a hangover with a stew made from tripe, aka cow’s stomach. The cow’s stomach is boiled in greasy, salty root vegetable soup with garlic, vinegar and cream.
  4. Deep fried Canaries (Ancient Greece)
  5. Sheep’s lungs and two owl eggs (Ancient Rome)
  6. The Prairie Oyster: (I saw this one on the Food Network). It’s a whole raw egg, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. The goal is to swallow the whole thing in one gulp without breaking the yolk.
  7. Burial: The Irish have a strange custom to cure hangovers: burying the person in moist river sand.
  8. Dried Bull’s Penis (Sicily)
  9. Sour pickle juice (Poland): A variation on this is soured milk. Some say soured milk (which is unpasteurized and has been left at room temperature for a day or two).
  10. Drinking your own sweat: Some Native Americans tribes would run until they get sweaty then lick all the sweat up and spit it out. This is supposed to get rid of all the ‘poison’ you’d just oozed out.
  11. Soot: In the 19th century chimneysweeps used the healing power of soot mixed into warm milk.
  12. Voodoo: A Haitian remedy recommends sticking 13 black pins in the cork of the offending bottle

BONUS: An Ounce of Prevention:

  • Peanut Butter Eating peanut butter before drinking is an African remedy.
  • Scalp stimulation Pull your hair in clumps so that your full scalp is stimulated. This remedy brings blood to the scalp and relieves the headache.
  • And of course, the good old Lemon on your Armpits In Puerto Rico one remedy is to rub half of a lemon or lime in the armpit of their drinking arm before they start drinking to stop a hangover before it starts. Apparently, lemon prevents dehydration and therefore headaches because it helps retain fluid. Experts say you rub the lemon clockwise if you live in the Northern hemisphere and counterclockwise in the southern hemisphere for the full effect.

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