My sister was having some man problems and decided to ask me for advice. (Why, I don’t know since I’m chronically single). During this conversation I made kind of a sad discovery about my relationships.

 I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’ve remained friends with 98% of my exes. In fact, many of my exes are some of my closest male friends to this day. I think sometimes people are meant to be in our lives not as lovers but as good friends. Its just that I tend not to discover this until after I’ve rushed into the relationship with them.

 Well the convo with my sister made me realize that I’ve never in my entire dating life dated a man who was my friend first. When I look over my dating track record I’ve realized that all of my boyfriends were lovers first then friends. I don’t really  know what its like to have a friendship with a person and then have it develop into a relationship. That’s unfortunate.

 This is the point where movie romances have totally screwed me up in the real world of dating. I’m gonna blame every chick flick ever made for this. For two reasons, first my standards of romance are so unbelievably high that no man will measure up to them. I deem any man unromantic who doesn’t write poems like Larenz Tate in Love Jones or hold a boombox over his head like John Cusack in Say Anything because this is what I’ve grown to believe men who really like you are supposed to do. The flip side of this is movies like When Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan have this great friendship that they almost ruin when they have sex and then of course they fall in love and it works out in the end.

 I want to know what thats like. The only problem is the guys don’t become my friends until after we’ve become intimate and started hating each other. Its like I’m playing the movie in reverse.

 Could this be part of the reason I’m single? Can anyone else relate to this or am I riding on a boat all by myself on ths one?

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