Rihanna and Chris Brown

I almost never get wrapped up in celebrity gossip, but this one was different.  I really took the Chris Brown and Rihanna abuse story to heart. I cried and I prayed for Rihanna. I was a fan,  but it was more than that.  Ths was  a young woman with so much potential hurting, physically and mentally. A confused young women torn between loving a man and being hurt by him.

I knew exactly how she felt because years ago I was Rihanna. When I listened to the interview it was like she was telling my story.  I was in an abusive relationship for two years too. He was my first big love too.  I understand the embarassment.  I didn’t tell my family and friends at first.  He once choked me until I was almost unconscious too. I went back to him too.  I lied to myself and wanted to protect him too.

I knew she was gonna go back to him. I went back to my abuser many times. Like she said love doesn’t just disappear. Each time he promised it would be the last time.  (Its almost like  a script they all do the same thing.) For both of us it finally took something really drastic for us to leave for good.

Rihanna did some really important things tonight. She didn’t excuse his behavior. She showed you can leave and have life after abuse.  She admitted that it still hurts. (Those internal scars just don’t heal as easily). Most importantly she acknowledged this can happen to ANY woman.

“I am strong. This happened to me. I didn’t cause this.”–Rihanna

The 20/20 interview said over half a million women are abused every year. If you are in a abusive relationship, understand that you are not  weak and you are not to blame.  There is no excuse for a man to hit a woman.  As cliche as it sounds it’s true if he does it once he will do it again and maybe one day he will kill you. Its happened many times unfortunately.

If anything good came out of her abuse, it created a much-needed dialogue. It brought this very ugly thing to the surface and hopefully we can find ways to stop it.

This domestic violence survivor thanks you Rihanna for sharing your story. You showed courage and class.  And I’m certain you saved lives.

(A link to a video of the interview is posted on this blog)